True leadership is defined by integrity, not authority

In times of workplace tension, the true measure of leadership is the ability to act with integrity and prioritize the well-being of others over ego

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Recently, I witnessed something remarkable. A professional—let’s call him M—found himself in a situation that would be all too familiar to many Canadians: a prolonged workplace conflict. What began as a disagreement escalated over time into something more insidious—veiled hostility, exclusion, and an unspoken tension that poisoned team morale.

Despite multiple attempts to resolve things respectfully and privately, his counterpart shut down any opportunity for dialogue, refusing both mediation and conversation. Leadership remained silent. The situation stagnated. And yet, everyone felt it. It was the kind of conflict that simmers quietly but scorches deeply.

What made this situation remarkable wasn’t the conflict itself. It was how M responded. Rather than retaliate, withdraw, or comply with the damaging “just move on” culture that often dominates workplaces, he chose a different path. He documented respectfully. He requested support. And when the silence persisted, he stepped into a leadership void—not because it was easy or politically safe but because it was necessary.

He proposed a professionally facilitated team conversation, not to “call anyone out,” but to bring the group back to its shared purpose, reset expectations, and restore psychological safety. And that, my friends, is what integrity in leadership looks like.

It’s easy to lead when people agree with you, when you hold the title, when you’re backed by authority. But the real test comes when none of those things are present, when you have to lead because no one else will and because doing the right thing matters more than protecting your ego.

Too often, we conflate leadership with control. But true leadership is the capacity to hold discomfort, to act in alignment with values, and to keep the well-being of others in view even when it’s not reciprocated.

M wasn’t looking for credit or confrontation. He was asking: How do we show up for each other better than this? And in doing so, he gave his colleagues a model for integrity under pressure.

In workplaces, especially as we push for more inclusive, respectful environments, leadership is often tested in subtle ways—through conflict, uncomfortable conversations, and moments of ethical tension. Leadership isn’t just about enforcing rules or maintaining power; it’s about navigating these difficult moments with integrity.

Whether you’re leading a department, a household, or a volunteer group, there will be moments when dysfunction creeps in and the people around you either can’t or won’t address it.

The following principles can help you lead through those moments with integrity:

1. Start with the private conversation
   Always begin with direct dialogue. Extend the invitation to connect, repair, and reflect before escalating. You’ll sleep better knowing you tried.
2. Be measured, not reactive
   Document interactions calmly. Stay curious, not combative. Refuse to mirror poor behaviour, even when it feels justified.
3. Shift the focus from “me vs. you” to “us vs. the issue”
   Reframe the conflict as a shared disruption to the group’s values or function to prevent the situation from being reduced to personal drama.
4. Propose a professional process
   A facilitated conversation isn’t a punishment; it’s a tool. It brings structure, neutrality, and safety to difficult dialogue. Leaders who suggest it are choosing repair over resentment.
5. Do it anyway—even if no one thanks you
   Integrity doesn’t guarantee applause. But it guarantees trust, and trust is what teams, families, and communities are built on.

What made M’s actions so powerful wasn’t just that he chose integrity. It’s that he did so knowing full well others might not. He didn’t wait for permission. He didn’t wait for consensus. He simply modelled what it means to take the high road—and in doing so, created the conditions for others to rise as well.

We often tell our kids to be the “bigger person.” We challenge our teams to “take the high road.” But those words only carry weight if we’re willing to live them when it’s hardest, when we feel alone, misunderstood, or unsupported. That’s when leadership becomes real. And that’s when communities, whether inside hospitals, homes, or city halls, become stronger.

In Canada, we’re increasingly valuing these kinds of leadership traits, whether in the workplace, in political settings, or within local communities. Integrity, transparency, and the courage to stand for what’s right—especially when it’s uncomfortable—are what allow us to build better, more resilient environments for all.

Faith Wood is a professional speaker, author, and certified professional behaviour analyst. Before her career in speaking and writing, she served in law enforcement, which gave her a unique perspective on human behaviour and motivations. Faith is also known for her work as a novelist, with a focus on thrillers and suspense. Her background in law enforcement and understanding of human behaviour often play a significant role in her writing.